1. |
1st place
01:58
|
|||
|
First Place
Fuck yeah we’re the opening band playing 30 songs as fast as we can
First ones on, first ones packed up, first ones to get fucked up
We’re the opening band
Play our shitty songs the best that we can, set ain’t long just grab a beer
No one came to see us here
We’re just the opening band
Fuck yeah we’re the opening band, mooching beers off the headliners
Their on stage we hit on their chicks, what a bunch of dicks
We’re the opening band
Playing any gig that we can 20 bucks here and a free beer there
Now we’re getting somewhere
We’re the opening band
Fuck yeah we’re the opening band, loaded in the pit while you play your set
Stealing fucking drinks and making a mess, what a bunch of drunks
We’re the opening band
Yelling Fuck You in the parking lot, running back in when we see the cops
Public drunkenness and lewd acts, hope you invite us back
We’re the opening band
|
||||
2. |
drunk tank
00:53
|
|||
|
Drunk Tank
Open up my eye fuck this is not my bed
My back is fucking killing me I slept on a concrete slab
Shoes and fucking belt are gone both my kidneys are fucked
Do not pass go in the drunk tank
[chorus]
No smokes
Nothing to eat
Cold feet
No going back to sleep in the drunk tank
In the drunk tank
Let me out around noon give me back my shit
No cash in my wallet these cops are pricks
Outta the station at least I got my smokes
Straight to the bank then the LCBO
[chorus]
|
||||
3. |
40 hour fuk around
01:50
|
|||
|
Fourty Hour Fuck Around
Wake up in the morning drag my ass outta bed
Another fucking Monday another week of hell
Throw on my fucking boots grab my fucking smokes
Punch the clock it’s time to rock
[chorus] X2
Fourty hours of shit
Fourty hours of idiots
Fourty hours I’ll never get back
Fourty hour fuck around
Doing the same type of shit I did last fucking week
My boss is still a prick and everyone else are geeks
Every lunch and break I gotta get fucking baked
Red eyed and high makes the time fly
[chorus] X2
Fourty hour fuck around X12
|
||||
4. |
4x4
02:32
|
|||
|
4 X 4
I’ve had it up to fucking here, I don’t think I can hold it back
These people drive me fucking nuts, I’ve gotta get this off my chest
Everywhere I fucking go, restaurants and grocery stores
They should be put out in the streets, they are a danger to you and me
[chorus]
Their on a mission
Their on a roll
Their lazy fucks
Their on the dole
They scammed the fucking government for that I will give them a hand
Maybe I should donate my legs, they wouldn’t use them anyhow
Sidewalks are their private roads, their errands are more important
They’ll yell and scream like 2 year olds, get in their way and you’ll be told
[chorus]
|
||||
5. |
bee's are jerk's!
01:17
|
|||
|
Bees Are Jerks
Bees are fucking jerks
They buzz around your head and try to sting you
No regard for you, their fucking ASSHOLES
[chorus]
Bees are jerks X3
Bees are fucking jerks
I’m trying to drink a beer, and this fuckers in my face buzzing and stinging
Get the fuck away from me
Bees are fucking jerks
[chorus]
|
||||
6. |
chick farts
02:00
|
|||
|
Chick Farts
The coolest fucking sound on earth, blast of gas from under a skirt
The smell is bad, the act is good
Girls need to fart I think they should
[chorus]
Stinky smelly something in her belly
Raunchy gross chick farts fucking rule
Stinky smelly tacos in her belly
Raunchy gross chick farts fucking rule
Don’t be ashamed shrug and smile
Smells like she been holding that in for a while
Eyes are burning and I might puked
Smells so bad but I think its rad
[chorus]
Stinky smelly something in her belly
Raunchy gross chick farts fucking rule
Stinky smelly burritos in her belly
Raunchy gross chick farts fucking rule
|
||||
7. |
death by crack hits
01:18
|
|||
|
D.B.C.H.
Pack that bowl, fill it to the brim
Light that shit, breathe that fucker in
Take your time no need to rush
When it hits your lungs you might throw up
“Don’t choke”
“Oh fuck you did”
Death by crack hits X2
|
||||
8. |
dirt squirrel
01:37
|
|||
|
Dirt Squirrel
She’s a dirt squirrel and that’s all she’ll ever be
She’s a dirt squirrel and she gets dirty for me
She’s a dirt squirrel, I bet that you know one
A fucking dirt squirrel with cum dripping from her bum
She’s just a dirt squirrel
Dirt squirrel, the filthiest of chicks
A fucking dirt squirrel she’s sucked a million dicks
A fucking dirt squirrel, don’t have to take them places
Dirt squirrel, just blow your load in their faces
She’s just a dirt squirrel
|
||||
9. |
e-tard
00:40
|
|||
|
E-Tard
E-tard goofy fucking grin
E-tard never fucking blinks
E-tard shut your fucking trap
E-tard do another cap
[chorus]
Grab another fucking pill, chew it up it tastes like shit
Thirty minutes your fucked right up
Hope you have some gum or your cheeks are fucked
|
||||
10. |
fun police
01:28
|
|||
|
Fun Police
Oh shit it’s the fun police wandering and checking the bars
Making sure no one’s on drugs or having to good a time
Fuck them those up tight cunts are mad cause they can’t rock
Don’t ruin the show like you ruined your lives, you party pooping cops
[chorus]
Their everywhere when we don’t need them
And when we do we don’t even call them
There’s way worse things than a punk rock show
Go bust the guy selling 12 year olds blow
Oh shit there’s probably one among us, getting more pissed cause we’re making fun of him
He’ll bust us, oh yeah just one more thing to say
You wanna close a bar the one down the street is selling yay
[chorus]
|
||||
11. |
go time
01:13
|
|||
|
Go Time
Who’s fucking house is this, never mind I don’t care
Hit the fucking fridge steal all the beer
Where’s the fucking shitter I gotta take a piss
Never mind I think I found it
But why is there a fucking bed in here
What time are the hot chick getting here it’s just dirt squirrels
Never mind I don’t fucking care
Hey there skank get over here
Now it burns when I fucking pee, that dirty bitch said she was clean
Now I gotta fucking STD
I don’t fucking care
|
||||
12. |
half beer drunk
01:39
|
|||
|
Half Beer Drunk
My head is fucking pounding and my brain is fucking mush
I drank a lot last night but I didn’t drink enough
Need another drink and I need it fucking now
Beer stores far away and I got no fucking cash
[chorus] X2
Getting half beer drunk loaded off the left –overs
Getting half beer drunk unfinished free booze
There’s no one left awake and there’s bottles everywhere
I can’t find an uncracked beer this hangover is killing me
But I know a trick that works
Grab a beer and check for smokes
Shits half full so drink it down
Getting half beer drunk
[chorus] X2
Wasted off the waste, drunk off the forgotten
My pride ain’t hurt, my liver is
Getting half beer drunk
Half beer drunk X8
|
||||
13. |
jerk shirt
00:33
|
|||
|
Jerk Shirt
Jerk shirt we all got one
Jerk shirt covered in cum
Jerk shirt throw it on the floor
Jerk shirt can wear it anymore
JERK SHIRT
|
||||
14. |
midnight move
02:09
|
|||
|
Midnight Move
I haven’t seen my kitchen floor in months
The ceiling in my livingroom is covered in spit
The toilet won’t flush and the shit is piling up
I haven’t paid the rent and they cut the fucking power off
[chorus]
It’s time to go were fucking outta here
Midnight move, grab the fucking gear
It’s time to go, we’re fucking outta here
Midnight move, grab the fucking beer
Midnight move X4
Grab what you can, we gotta roll
The landlords at the door
And the walls are full of holes
The kitchen sink is full of piss
If we don’t run were totally fucked
They’ll call the cops and lock us fucking up
[chorus]
|
||||
15. |
mosquito song
01:05
|
|||
|
Mesquito Song
Mesquitos carry death disease, bird flu and ebolia
They’ll buzz in your face their worse than bees
These mother fuckers will kill ya
Their everywhere you wanna be in the outdoor party months
They ruin parties faster than the mother fucking cops
Mesquitos will kill you kill everyone you know
They ruin parties faster than the jackasss who cranks Nickleback
Mesquitos are a menace annoying flying flees
There’s not enough bug spray on earth to make them go away
I said it once and I’ll say it again I hate those fucking things EXTERMINATIONS THE ONLY WAY
|
||||
16. |
nuff change
00:58
|
|||
|
Enough Change
My pants are hanging off my ass my belt is as tight as it can go
Got thirty fucking pounds of coins in my pocket and I only used a 20 to buy an O.E.
[chorus]
Enough with the fucking change already, bring back the 2 dollar bill
Enough with the fucking change already, I don’t think my back can take it
I just wanna pack of smokes so I can finally unload this shit
Throw a hand full on the counter and this mother fucker wants me to roll it
[chorus]
|
||||
17. |
one drink
02:04
|
|||
|
One Drink
[chorus]
It only takes one drink to get black out drunk
And I can never figure out which one
Is it the 13th or 21st or am I fucked right from the start
Was it the joint I smoked in the bathroom or that big fat line
Cause it only takes one drink to get black out drunk but I can never figure out which one
So I’m sitting at the bar drinking steady all night
Chatting up some chick staying outta fights
Bartender asks if I want another round and that’s when it all went down
[chorus]
Everyone in the bar is looking really mad at me
The girl I was talking to is calling me a creep
Someone pissed my pants I’m sure it wasn’t me
Security wants me to leave
[chorus]
Woooooo……
|
||||
18. |
pet thief
01:09
|
|||
|
Pet Thief
He’s coming to your town and he’s on a fucking mission
Grins at a flyer says ‘lost kitten’
Eyes dart left to right he knows what he’s looking for
He’s got a burlap sac and he’s coming for your cat
[chorus]
Pet thief he’ll steal your cat
Pet thief never give it back
Pet thief will he give it a good home
Pet thief you will never know
Wandering your neighbourhood a stranger with no name
Looking into backyards seeking out his prey
Locked onto a target, it’s your fucking dog
He feeds it a treat and away they go
[chorus]
Pet thief he’ll steal your dog
Pet thief now sparky’s gone
Pet thief will he give it a good home
Pet thief you will never know
|
||||
19. |
piss in the sink
02:24
|
|||
|
Piss In The Sink
At a fucking party 17 beers in drunks and retards everywhere get outta my way
I gotta pee line up at the bathroom I’m fucked
Piss in the sink, who cares who’s looking
Piss in the sink, dishes gotta soak
Piss in the sink, fuck it’s not your house
Piss in the sink X2
Rocking at a bar drunk as fucking hell so many shots I can hardly stand talking to some slut
Nature calls run to the bathroom no vacancy on urinals
Piss in the sink, who care’s who’s looking
Piss in the sink, get it in the soap
Piss in the sink, fuck you never come here
Piss in the sink X2
|
||||
20. |
pajamas are not pants
01:00
|
|||
|
Pajamas Are Not Pants
All you lazy bitches and pricks I gotta bone to pick
Before you leave the fucking house I want you to remember this
[chorus]
PAJAMAS ARE NOT PANTS
Put on some fucking jeans you slob
PAJAMAS ARE NOT PANTS
Put on a fucking skirt you slut/skank
Don’t get me wrong there comfy as fuck for laying around the house
But if you have to grab a pack put on some fucking slacks
[chorus]
|
||||
21. |
M.J.R.I.P.
01:03
|
|||
|
Micheal Jackson Is Dead
It’s fucking over the fiend is dead, there won’t be another kid molested at Neverland ranch
King of pop, king of popping boys cherries, finally kicked the mother fucking bucket
[chorus] X2
Micheal Jackson is dead, had a heart attack after giving some kid head
I don’t give a fuck about Thriller, sold a billion copies, he’s still a fucking diddler
Now he’s fucking dead and I hope that satan is railing his mother fucking ass
[chorus] X2
|
||||
22. |
rock star
00:49
|
|||
|
Rockstar
Bong hits and sluts, booze and drugs, fights in bars
I WANNA BE A ROCKSTAR
I don’t wanna work I just wanna party,
Fuck some chicks and get the HIV and die of an over dose
When I die I’ll find satan and kick his ass, fuck his wife, kick his dog and beat his son
This songs about done
|
||||
23. |
short bus
01:27
|
|||
|
Short Bus
[chorus]
SHORT BUS drives me to school
SHORT BUS with kids that drool
SHORT BUS let me the fuck off
SHORT BUS I’d rather walk
Public school was not fun for me RIDE THE SHORT BUS X2
Put me in a class for special needs RIDE THE SHORT BUS X2
Kids who could not count or spell RIDE THE SHORT BUS X2
The ride to school was fucking hell RIDE THE SHORT BUS X4
[chorus]
I don’t know why I was in that class RIDE THE SHORT BUS X2
I might of told a teacher to kiss my ass RIDE THE SHORT BUS X2
Was I a blatant psychopath RIDE THE SHORT BUS X2
Killing the class pet probably didn’t help RIDE THE SHORT BUS X4
|
||||
24. |
sk8board beer run
01:44
|
|||
|
Skateboard Beer Run
I got my board I gotta go, never make it if we run we all fucking smoke
Grab the last beer for the road,
Hit the fucking hill I’m going straight the liquor store
Fucking slow cars in front of me, trying to bomb a hill and not spill my beer
Watch out for rocks and the cracks, I don’t want speed wobbles they equal road rash
Make it there two minutes to spare,
Go the fuck in and get more beer
Five more cases and a 26, how do these fuckers expect me to carry this
Juggling beers like a circus clown, get them home quick so we can get plowed
Bros back home are sobering up,
crack one more to keep my buzz up
Shits heavy, it’s killing my back, I don’t give a fuck I wanna get trashed
Pushing wood down the fucking street, cop drives by and doesn’t even notice me
Almost there I can see my pad, I’m a fucking hero on a skateboard, rad
Hit a rock down goes the beer,
Nothing but the 26er I’m drinking it right here
Fuck those guys their assholes anyway
At least I get wasted
|
||||
25. |
star trek sucks
01:00
|
|||
|
Star Trek Sucks
Fucking stupid Star Trek geeks I’ll punch out your fucking teeth
Stuart and Shatner are fucking gay, Mark Hamil all the way
STAR TREK SUCKS
Star Trek Sucks
Star wars rock
I’ll take the force over your gay ass phaser
STAR TREK SUCKS X4
|
||||
26. |
toilet seat empathy
01:38
|
|||
|
Toliet Seat Empathy
The life of a toilet seat has gotta be the pits, every fucking day you get covered in piss
Some days you get shit on, other days you don’t,
But it’s just a matter of time till you fucking overflow
Toilet seat empathy, I’m just glad it isn’t me
Toilet seat empathy, wouldn’t want my face covered in pee
Toilets have no feelings, I hope its true cause its probably pretty shitty getting covered in pooh
Never get to go out or have any fun and the only thing that touches you is a smelly bum
Toilet seat empathy, I’m just glad it isn’t me
Toilet seat empathy, would you want your face covered in pee
Poor fucking toilet seat never had a chance
Minding his own business and someone drops their pants
Vomit, piss and shit, used tampons and domes, toilets don’t complain that’s just how it goes
Toilet seat empathy, I’m just glad it isn’t me
Toilet seat empathy, wouldn’t want my face covered in pee
Dirty fucking toilet seat taking shit from everyone
Can’t stand up for himself someone better help him
I gotta sit this one out drank a case, had Taco Bell
Ass is gonna explode all over this toilet bowl
|
||||
27. |
train wreck
01:06
|
|||
|
Train Wreck
Spinning around in circles, not knowing what the fuck
Am I ever gonna be sober, permenantly drunk
The answers at the bottom of the bottle that I chug
FUCK NO
[chorus]
GASWITCH SUCKS
We seriously suck
GASWITCH SUCKS
We fucking suck
Waking up hung over, not knowing where I am
Black eyes and bloody knuckles, I don’t give a damn
Wondering if this train wreck will ever stop
FUCK NO
[chorus]
|
||||
28. |
underage alchoholic
01:02
|
|||
|
Underage Alcoholic
Standing in front of the beer store hoping to see somebody I know
Because I can’t just walk in wanna get drunk but I’m 16
Ask the guy with the shit car fucker says no so I flip him off
It’s getting late and I’m getting scared I wanna get drunk but I’m underage
[chorus]
Got the cash need the case
Standing here all day
UNDERAGE ALCOHOLIC
Come on dude buy me some booze
It’s closing soon
UNDERAGE ALCOHOLIC
Look at what just pulled in drunks from the party house down the street
Take my cash and go in I’m gonna get drunk and I’m 16
Hand me off my two four said they’d take six but they took more
Fifteens still enough to rage I’m gonna get drunk and I’m underage
[chorus]
|
||||
29. |
we are gaswitch
01:19
|
|||
|
We Are GASWITCH
Fuck your scene it fucking sucks
We’re Gaswitch
And we FUCKING ROCK
Blaze a trail of destruction and booze
If you get in our way WE’LL FUCKING KILL YOU
Taking shit from no one and giving it to everyone
When the parties done WE’RE THE ONES WITH YOUR BITCH
CAUSE WE ARE GASWITCH!
|
||||
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